Talk to Me – I have used this mantra quite a few times lately. Now why do I do this – two fold and here we go!
One – I fear mom is losing the ability to stack her thoughts and piece by piece extract them and express to us. As she progresses and as I try to learn, but lately lose my patience with her (unfortunately but its part of this process), I find she just shuts down more and more. I try to say let’s talk and get her talking or if something happens like last night try to explain why I am upset and what can we do together to solve this issue. She just looks at me with blank eyes and says to me, “I don’t Know”! Now with memory issues as one of the large daily problems how am I to really know if she doesn’t know. The issue last night along with a couple others have to do with her well being and safety! She just doesn’t understand I fear that we are doing this to protect her from harm and ourselves as well. We sat down to dinner finally after a few minutes interruption with the issue at hand. We tried to calmly talk to her and she says she gets it – but is she saying this to appease our concern or does she really get it? This issue has gone on and on and not knowing if she does understand – do we take her to talk about it with an outside person or just accept she does not get it? Part of what we have an issue with is what she is doing can in the long run hurt one of us.
This brings me to the next part.
Two – a blog from what I understand can be a two way street. I would love feedback from my readers on issues with this and other dementia related issues you might be dealing with at home. I know I am not alone in this and this is why I started this blog as well. A release of my thoughts and hope to engage with others here. My husband and I have been to counseling ourselves to learn how to deal with her as a general rule, but this in my heart goes above and beyond what I am capable of emotionally with her. Family members are always the one to be hurt first and hardest.
One example without getting to specific here – bending over. She has been told by numerous doctors that she is in the 95% of a major fall. Now can you imagine someone at the age of 80 that is not in the best of health physically and mentally falling, let alone breaking something. Can you say REHAB? If my life was not busy enough already having to put her in rehab just makes me sick. So we tell her every single day – DO NOT BEND OVER! What does she do – bends over to pick up a shiny object or something that is on the floor. Forget tripping, just the bend over and unbalance alone she has come close to going all the way – but because of the grace of GOD, Ted or I happened to be in the right place at the right time each time so far. So at what point does DO NOT BEND OVER again and again not work?
With this all said and solutions never the same for each individual – comment here on my blog ~ TALK TO ME!
Peace and Awesomeness today!