This week with mom has been challenging again in GOOD and BAD ways!
This thing called dementia is one of the most exasperating and debilitating diseases I have ever encountered. I thought diabetes and Hep C was bad. I have said over the years to many of my friends and acquaintances when speaking of mom and my take. I can handle diabetes – give insulin give food! Simple as that with balance in lifestyle! Hep C – we are super duper careful with gloves and lots of bleach and Lysol! But this thing called dementia (she has been officially diagnosed with vascular dementia from the diabetes) is one thing I cannot grasp emotionally or mentally myself!
So what do I mean with my title today – Crochet Me a River! Well after episodes with her and my emotions getting the best of me over and over I crochet and cry! It is hard to see the stitches sometimes but by the time I’ve gone a round or two my heart and mind feel better for sure. Getting wrapped up in yarn – pun here 🙂 gives me the chance to unwind – pun here again 🙂 and stitch myself back together – one more pun :)!!! No really it is one of the ways I find to keep myself sane in the complex and varied life on one with dementia. Always the creator and crafter, making something whether it be for me, you or an order for someone special crocheting is my CRAFT, LIFE AND EMOTIONAL SUPPORT!
The low down this week on mom – we had a surprise for her and I asked her if she wanted to know what was going to happen the next day or be surprised. She wanted to know and before I could give a clue she figured out her brother and sister in law were coming for a visit. Now how did she do that? Excitement was in the air for 24 hours as we anticipated the arrival of family for a couple days. She was in good spirits and happy to participate in the activities we were planning. But by the end of day one – maybe she was tired she just started crying and saying she was fat. I could not console her for anything. I just hugged and hugged and talked slow and low to her. My heart was hurting for sure as I cannot put in my brain why things like this just come to her. The next day after a day of shopping, we got home had some lunch and then she wanted to watch TV. Eventually the news was on and she loves to watch the local NBC news. We were flipping between that and Olympic news starting. Off to the store I went to get dinner supplies and when I returned the TV was on full blown loud and she was screaming for the guys to shut up and stop talking so she could hear. I put the TV on captioning so she could read it, I could think and get dinner ready. The next thing I know off to the other room and her TV she went. She couldn’t find the remote came back out screaming at me and then when I tried to calm her down and ask her to stay in here with the family and visit she physically attacked me. Now this is a FIRST for her, but it scared me and she was so strong. I never raised my voice or got angry – just tried to calm her. She finally sat on the couch crying and kept telling me to shut up and wouldn’t look at me. WOW- another indication that the dementia is taking over with her. I went back to making dinner with tears and a heavy heart.
Last night I got out the Banner Alzheimer’s Clinic book we got and read up more on the stages of dementia. Looks like I pretty much did what they say to do – calmly talk to the person, try to change the current situation to a new one. Needless to say being one of the first times this has happened I was really scared about what was happening. We finally ate dinner and then got out the WII and played a few games with her watching but not participating this time! The next day I asked her a bit about the situation and she does not really remember why or doing it – but she kept saying I’m sorry! Now this tore me up again. With this over and she off to her room to do her thing -OUT CAME THE CROCHET ONE MORE TIME – I am making a 3D unicorn for a friend that wants it for comfort and joy. Maybe I need it too! Here is a link Unicorn stages on Instagram and I’ll make one for you too – ask me how to buy one!
At least for the next two weeks she has the Olympics to watch and she loves the ice skating big time! I have quite a bit of part time work over the next few weeks and spring training is around the corner – YEA BASEBALL. Mom loves her Detroit Tigers and Arizona Diamondbacks so we have something for her to take interest in again.
Life is hard with this – I have learned more on diabetes and dementia than I should have to, but it is necessary to know what is happening. Anyone have any good reading material on the subject please comment. I would love any feedback on anyone having this or similar events happen to them as well.
My life as I knew it has been gone for seven years now and I have to tell myself all the time – SO IS MOMS! Crochet Crochet Crochet to keep sane. My river continues to flow and some days the river is lazily flowing along and some days the river is raging
Today’s Featured Image is my DEAL OF THE DAY!