Spring training is over and the multitude of jobs are done except one coming up. I have a few days off finally to get caught up on an ever lengthening list of stuff to do! How can this list never go away you ask – I’m asking this too!
When you have your own home and a list of chores to complete that do not get their due diligence routinely because of the mega hours you work, the list can just get longer and longer. But add in caring for a parent and that list can double your duties!
I have found the last couple days just wanting to couch potato myself and finish up some crochet projects that have been ordered. *Note all the March sales Donation to Dana is ending in just about 4 days – order something Click this link to get me to donate 20% of the sale to her. And I want to get this inventory of stuff I have down as well-that is on my to do list as well. Alas I cannot since I have this list of chores to do.
What am I continuing to question then – well my sanity as well as how long does this caregiving go on. Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change the fact that I have and am doing probably the most important job in my life. We all have those moments when we get up out of bed and say man I just don’t like this job anymore. It is no longer fulfilling a need inside of me – okay I will admit I am there. Nevertheless I cannot quit this one job in my life. So I question myself and out loud to my husband. Where do I/we go from here? At what point do I say I need me back and my life and a full time job and a career that will carry me forward to retirement age. I think this is one of the scariest scenarios I have thought of. Financially what do I do next? How does one start again in their middle 50’s after being out of the work force full time for so long? Do I begin to look at a new career or try to get back into the same career? Do I move to a new place and begin again?
These are questions that many long term caregivers ask and many find solutions and some do not. I want to be the one that does as well. When a person with dementia is absolute about something and you need to divert attention to something else – well this is how I am about life right now to. I am diverting my attention to the daily grind and the list of chores to get through. Finding time for me and the mental attitude to get me the new job and career is tough when you have been in the ‘CAREGIVING’ mode for so long. I will continue to question if this or that is right or wrong – but I MUST move along and be ready when and if something happens to my mom! Caregiving must be about ME too!
Question – move along and find the answers is easier said than done so now I must get some chores done and move along! Thanks all for listening and advice is always welcome from my readers!
Peace and Awesomeness today to you!
Maria, The Caffeinated Crocheter